Q: I need some fast answers on Venus flytraps for my science report...

A: Here is where your long-suffering and ever-helpful FAQ-sifu gets to gripe.

• Out on a limb?

I answer every e-mail that I get (even if it is only to suggest you read the FAQ). If you do not hear back from me, it is either because my e-mail back to you bounced (because of some mail filter you have), or because your mail to me was incorrectly flagged by my machine as spam.

I usually enjoy your e-mail. The only kind of e-mail that annoys me are ones like the following:

1)I need to know about Venus flytraps. Send me information.

Well, I have written this huge FAQ, and a book you can buy, all filled with information. What do you want that I could send you?

2)How do I grow Venus flytraps?

It is all there in the FAQ

3)I have a science report due in three days. Here are 6 questions. Answer them for me.

That is your job. I already got my Ph.D. Read the FAQ and you don't even have to go to the library!

4)TELL ME STUF RIGHT AWAY---cyberhog

When you mail someone, especially someone you do not know, never request things in a demanding tone. It is very rude. It is particularly rude to ask for things and not even identify yourself by something other than an absurd nickname such as "cyberhog", "mailmonstr", or "netdude", etc. You know who I am and what I look like. At least identify yourself by name. And please, e-mail is a form of communication. Try to spell. People of every language use the net: clear, polite e-mail will always get you better results.

Questions that I am asked more than a few times eventually become part of the FAQ, so tell me what topics I have missed!

Page citations: Personal annoyance.